Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Day 2- seeing the reality of orphanages
Day
2-
We got up today at 6 am to meet our driver and make it to the social workers office when she arrived to ask her to come to the “camp” with us to start the process. She was an hour late arriving. Of course. So we sit. And wait.
We drove over to his orphanage "V" . We had papers signed by the director there , picked up the lawyer, then off to his Camp orphanage way out in "M". About another 1 ½ hours...
We got up today at 6 am to meet our driver and make it to the social workers office when she arrived to ask her to come to the “camp” with us to start the process. She was an hour late arriving. Of course. So we sit. And wait.
We drove over to his orphanage "V" . We had papers signed by the director there , picked up the lawyer, then off to his Camp orphanage way out in "M". About another 1 ½ hours...
away. THANKFULLY the Lord has taken pity on me and
my weakness to extreme heat . We woke to a beautiful breezy morning. MUCH
cooler.
We stopped at a road side stand to buy grapes from a farmer. They are wonderful. Also ripe tomatoes , all for $3.40
When we arrived at the camp orphanage another family was also there to meet a little boy they requested from a blind referral. He is a beautiful child. Sadly they may not come back for him. I heard them ask their translator to ask him what musical instruments he played! I swear I choked… Im thinking, I wonder umm..can my little one hold a pencil lol! Stupid people. Where in this poor setting do you SEE any musical instruments?!? They didn’t even bring a toy or a book for him to interact with them. Not well prepared for this reality I think. They only brought an ipad. Well he doesn’t know what to do with it, and he was a bit rough with it which they were not thrilled with.
Our little guy really didn’t pay any attention to us today. He was over whelmed with all the people in the room and toys to explore. If he sees a broken toy he becomes very agitated over
It. He seems to be upset someone broke it. Then he makes this noise like keeeekeeekee then bites his hand :(
We did get him to settle and sit, and he played stickers with Giana. At first it was not a skill he had. But after a few tries he would show Giana which sticker to remove and she would hand it to him, then he would slowly put it on the paper matching up ones that looked alike! Pretty smart. He made little groups on the paper. As he relaxed the stimming with his hand stopped and he was able to use his right hand a bit , although it is weaker then his left. But the curling and uncurling of his fingers seemed to stop. We tried coloring next. He either cannot or would not hold a crayon. He did pick up a piece of paper and made motions that seemed to say “hey make me a plane” so Michael made a paper airplane for him and he was thrilled! He would throw it nice and easy and smooth. Very impressive. He would even smooth out the folds each time so it would continue to fly. The social worker wanted him back in the main room, so as we went back in I took out the robot that lights up and more stickers. Sweet little Sasha girl ( what a little love she is!) came over so I pulled out a puzzle and worked on it with her for a bit. Next the little boy who had a family considering him came over and took the robot. Our Sasha spied the baby push toy in the corner and off he went. He became obsessed with pushing it back and forth up the hallway. After about 15 minutes I asked him to put it back and he turned away. He clearly didn’t want me to take it. I had to and he became upset with me. He laid on the floor and had a tiny little tantrum. I told him Nyet Vova! He sat up , then turned his back on me. When we went back in, it was time to go. I tried to hug him and he pushed me away and wouldn’t even look at me. I sat down and was petting his arms and talking to him but he kept pushing me away and turning away from me When a caregiver came over and talked to him , he started to cry and was staying Nyet Nyet ..his tears showed me how tiny and vulnerable he really is. Broke my heart for him.
Our facilitator came and spoke to him. He was upset because he didn’t want to go back to his room. Not that we were leaving…..
I have realized that after 3 moves in less than 2 years our little guy has been hurt and has a bit of Institutional Autism , maybe cerebral palsy too? Very sad to realize that damage that has been done to him. I have changed my way of thinking, to wrap my head around the changes. He is no longer a typical child with some special needs. He is now a special needs child who needs time and love to heal . The little affectionate boy with the quick smile is no longer easy to find.
Heart breaking.
But he is not lost. We can find him again.
I have to believe we can heal his heart. I have no idea what medical conditions he has, why his hand curls and twitches, why his speech is bad ,why his eye is cloudy or why he is much thinner than the other children, why he seems to not hear well. I don’t know what he has been through. And really we don’t care. We can only love him. We will treat what we can .
And just love him.
We stopped at a road side stand to buy grapes from a farmer. They are wonderful. Also ripe tomatoes , all for $3.40
When we arrived at the camp orphanage another family was also there to meet a little boy they requested from a blind referral. He is a beautiful child. Sadly they may not come back for him. I heard them ask their translator to ask him what musical instruments he played! I swear I choked… Im thinking, I wonder umm..can my little one hold a pencil lol! Stupid people. Where in this poor setting do you SEE any musical instruments?!? They didn’t even bring a toy or a book for him to interact with them. Not well prepared for this reality I think. They only brought an ipad. Well he doesn’t know what to do with it, and he was a bit rough with it which they were not thrilled with.
Our little guy really didn’t pay any attention to us today. He was over whelmed with all the people in the room and toys to explore. If he sees a broken toy he becomes very agitated over
It. He seems to be upset someone broke it. Then he makes this noise like keeeekeeekee then bites his hand :(
We did get him to settle and sit, and he played stickers with Giana. At first it was not a skill he had. But after a few tries he would show Giana which sticker to remove and she would hand it to him, then he would slowly put it on the paper matching up ones that looked alike! Pretty smart. He made little groups on the paper. As he relaxed the stimming with his hand stopped and he was able to use his right hand a bit , although it is weaker then his left. But the curling and uncurling of his fingers seemed to stop. We tried coloring next. He either cannot or would not hold a crayon. He did pick up a piece of paper and made motions that seemed to say “hey make me a plane” so Michael made a paper airplane for him and he was thrilled! He would throw it nice and easy and smooth. Very impressive. He would even smooth out the folds each time so it would continue to fly. The social worker wanted him back in the main room, so as we went back in I took out the robot that lights up and more stickers. Sweet little Sasha girl ( what a little love she is!) came over so I pulled out a puzzle and worked on it with her for a bit. Next the little boy who had a family considering him came over and took the robot. Our Sasha spied the baby push toy in the corner and off he went. He became obsessed with pushing it back and forth up the hallway. After about 15 minutes I asked him to put it back and he turned away. He clearly didn’t want me to take it. I had to and he became upset with me. He laid on the floor and had a tiny little tantrum. I told him Nyet Vova! He sat up , then turned his back on me. When we went back in, it was time to go. I tried to hug him and he pushed me away and wouldn’t even look at me. I sat down and was petting his arms and talking to him but he kept pushing me away and turning away from me When a caregiver came over and talked to him , he started to cry and was staying Nyet Nyet ..his tears showed me how tiny and vulnerable he really is. Broke my heart for him.
Our facilitator came and spoke to him. He was upset because he didn’t want to go back to his room. Not that we were leaving…..
I have realized that after 3 moves in less than 2 years our little guy has been hurt and has a bit of Institutional Autism , maybe cerebral palsy too? Very sad to realize that damage that has been done to him. I have changed my way of thinking, to wrap my head around the changes. He is no longer a typical child with some special needs. He is now a special needs child who needs time and love to heal . The little affectionate boy with the quick smile is no longer easy to find.
Heart breaking.
But he is not lost. We can find him again.
I have to believe we can heal his heart. I have no idea what medical conditions he has, why his hand curls and twitches, why his speech is bad ,why his eye is cloudy or why he is much thinner than the other children, why he seems to not hear well. I don’t know what he has been through. And really we don’t care. We can only love him. We will treat what we can .
And just love him.
Stickers were a new concept but he was really enjoying them! He gave us a bit of a smile here. He seems very unsure of my praise just yet. But it will come. We will find him again :)
So many kids here that NEED families. They have been forgotten. I will share all their faces soon. I need your help to find families for them! NO child should live scared and alone. But.they.do.
xoxo
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